I Won't Let Go
by IansDestiny
Summary: It's said you can't lose something you've never had, so why does Castle feel like Kate is slipping away.


I do not own anything to do with Castle or Toby Keith. Just borrowing the characters and Toby's song. I've got an idea where I'd like this to go but I've been totally blocked on all my stories so we will have to see where this goes.

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I Won't Let Go

Richard Castle reclined on his living room sofa and lifted his wine glass to his lips once more. Whoever claimed that you could drink your problems away obviously wasn't a writer. The only thing the alcohol allowed for was his already creative mind to go into a sort of delusional overdrive that only seemed to exacerbate the situation and lead to another glass of wine.

He had kissed Beckett. No. He took that back. He had kissed Kate Beckett and she had kissed him back! It had been phenomenal; quite frankly it was the sweetest most amazing thing he could remember in his life. Castle gently brushed his fingers across his lips remembering the delicious taste of her silky soft lips and the way the adrenaline pumping through their veins seemed to increase every one of his senses.

Castle could smell the intoxicating scent of her perfume and the feel of her body pressed against his and the taste of her lip gloss. He swore he could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest at just the sight of her. All of his dreams seemed to come true in that moment then BAM! As quickly as it had begun she was twisting away from him to deliver a frighteningly quick blow to the henchman only steps from them. The rest of the night was just a distant memory his brain seemed to ignore. They'd saved the day. Capturing Lockwood on top of saving Ryan and Esposito was wonderful but still paled in comparison to that kiss.

But that was it! No mention or hint of the kiss; no awkward silences or sideways glances in his direction (though not for a lack on his part). It was like it had never happened! Just another creative moment he'd dreamed up during a late night writing session alone in his loft with only the comfort and warmth of his laptop. That had been three days ago.

Castle had tried numerous times in the recent days to cautiously broach the subject. Unfortunately it only led to him being shot down quickly by the vicious tongue attached to the beautiful mouth he was so infatuated with.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Flashback XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Would you like to head to Remy's for a bite tonight?" Castle asked as he took his customary seat beside Beckett's desk.

Kate didn't bother looking up from her case file and without pausing or missing a beat she answered, "Not tonight Castle."

"Nicolinni's then?"

"No, Castle."

"McDonalds?"

"No."

"Ok then come to my place and I'll make us something."

Kate closed the case file and sighed, "What part of not tonight didn't you hear or comprehend?"

Castle grinned at her over his shoulder, "I just figured you were playing hard to get and the original offers didn't sound appealing."

Rolling her eyes she glanced at her Blackberry, "I have plans for tonight Castle. I just want to finish up our debrief and go home."

"Oh-"Was his only response as they slipped back into the pregnant silence that was growing between them. Abruptly he stood up and moved around the desk to read her report over her shoulder. "Hmm.."

Frustration over the entire situation was hitting hard and Kate groaned and set her pen down again and glared at him over her shoulder, "What now?"

Castle pointed to the section after they arrived at the warehouse, "Uh, isn't something missing? You know somewhere between leaving the car and knocking out that guy?" He asked grinning like the cat that ate the canary.

"No!" Kate spun around in her chair and glared up at him. Glancing around the empty precinct she found her voice once more, "Why are you so hung up on this?"

"Why are you so adamant about ignoring it?" He shot back just as quickly.

"It was just a kiss Castle!"

"It wasn't just a kiss, it was an amazing kiss!"

Kate threw up her arms and spun in her chair dead set on finishing her report, "It was a diversion so we could save the guys, now please let it go."

Castle's nostrils flared and he had had enough. Grabbing the back of her chair he spun her back to him and placed his hands firmly on the armrests to hold her in place. Leaning down he stopped only inches away from her face just to make sure he had her attention. "I do not want to just let it go, Kate."

If she was surprised at the use of her first name so intimately her devastating poker face certainly kept it hid. Keeping her eyes locked on his she just sighed, "What do you want me to say Rick?"

Letting his eyes roam from hers and focus on those delicious lips he longed to touch one more time he forced himself to look directly into her eyes. "Tell me it was only a diversion and you didn't feel anything?" Castle felt a lump form in his throat as he awaited her response.

Kate kept her eyes locked on his; right now if she answered him truthfully it would only cause problems between them. Truth be told she was still with Josh and as much as the kiss had affected her it wasn't fair to either man if she didn't sort out her feelings with her current relationship before confessing her feelings for another. Keeping her eyes locked on Castle she leaned forward slightly and paused just for the dramatic effect. Once she was sure she had his attention she spoke slowly punctuating each word with a pregnant pause, "Castle…It-was-only-a-diversion."

Castle reeled back quickly as the words practically slapped him across the face. She'd maintained eye contact and held her ground.

"Are you happy now?" She asked spinning her chair to turn back to her paperwork.

After few deep breathes the frustration and hurt became too much to handle and he couldn't take it anymore, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair he stormed off without looking back.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Flashback XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"_I got a funny feeling, the moment that your lips touched mine. Something shot right through me; my heart skipped a beat in time..."_

Before he could hit the mute button a hand came to rest on his shoulder. Smiling up at the big blue eyes of his daughter he smiled and patted her hand, "So is your IPod stuck on replay or are you ignoring someone's calls?"Alexis asked as she sat down beside her father and relieved him of his wine glass, setting it on the coffee table.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" He couldn't help but smile at his daughter, there was no getting anything past her. She truly was the best thing that had ever happened to him. True: it had been a challenge raising her without Meredith but he'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. She was his heart, his life and his best friend. No matter how big he became she was there to keep him grounded. Unfortunately for him she was wise beyond her years and always seemed to keep him on his toes as well.

Rolling her eyes she picked up his IPhone and saw the 5 missed calls from Detective Beckett, "Well the fact that I've heard that same song 5 times now over the past what… two hours. Which might I add it's quite interesting you'd select that song as her ringtone." Turning the screen to him she raised a questioning eyebrow at him, "Could it possibly have something to do with the reason you are ignoring Detective Beckett's calls? Isn't there a murder you could be fawning over?"

Castle laid his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, "I think it's time to concentrate on finishing my Nikki novel so I can move onto that other offer that was renegotiated recently."

Alexis tucked her legs under her as she turned towards her Dad, "You mean a certain British Agent? They renegotiated the proposal, like book and movie deal?"

Without even opening his eyes he offered a slight nod of his head and couldn't help the smile that graced his lips when she squealed and hugged him. Just as fast she pulled back, "But wait you said it didn't matter what their counter offer was you were going to keep writing Nikki Heat?"

"I may need to reconsider." He replied grabbing the cell phone from his daughter. "The offer was a substantial increase and HELLO how cool?"

Alexis just smiled at her Dad's excitement although it was clear to her that his smile didn't really reach his eyes. Before she could respond his phone began ringing again, but this time it was only a text message. While Castle was distracted someone in lala land her curiosity got the better of her and quick as lightening her hand snapped out and grabbed his phone leaping off the couch.

"ALEXIS! Stop right now and give me my phone back." Castle cried out trying to maneuver his body up and around the couch to catch her.

There was something her father wasn't telling her and she was sure it was something big between himself and the NYCP Detective. Moving behind the island in the kitchen she hit the read button on the text message.

_From Kate: I'm sorry about earlier. There was a murder at 50__th__ and Lex, do you want to come along? _

"What happened today between you and Detective Beckett?" Alexis asked, continuing to move out of his reach. "It must be pretty big to be ignoring her calls and thinking about not writing Nikki Heat anymore."

Castle lunged once more for his phone over the island; the glasses of wine were certainly not helping his cause. "Nothing, now please give me back my phone or I'll be forced to ground you!" He cried out, over extending himself and finding himself sprawled across the counter.

Alexis knew about his attraction to Kate and truthfully she was all for the idea. Kate made her dad really happy and even though she didn't know what had happened she knew him ignoring Kate wouldn't solve it. In his moment of distraction she decided to take things into her own hands.

Taking a moment to gather his wits, the sound of his little girls laugh filled his ears as he glared up at his phone now being dangled before his eyes.

_Me: Sure, pick me up in 10._

Castle's eyes moved between the cell phone and his daughters smiling face. He couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips.

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-Just something I thought up, it's the most I've been able to put into type in a long time. Writers Block is a Beast! Leave some love or hate!


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